
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1104660.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Erwin_Smith/Bertholdt_Fubar, Bertolt_Hoover/Erwin_Smith
  Character:
      Erwin_Smith, Bertolt_Hoover
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Older_Man/Younger_Man, Anal, flip
      fucking, mild_dirty_talk
  Series:
      Part 2 of No_One_Knows
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-12-27 Words: 4654
****** Seeking Change Through a Series of Firsts ******
by wizardinblack
Summary
     Bertholdt knew it was a bad idea, but he did it anyway.
Notes
     set in the 'No One Knows' universe.
     here is, hopefully, some insight on erwin/bertholdt's relationship. i
     wanted to show more of Bertholdt's intent, but it ended up just being
     smutty.
     I suppose you don't really need to read 'No One Knows' first, but it
     probably helps.
     Also, remember, Bertholdt is 15 in this and Erwin is 35. If that
     makes you uncomfortable than please don't read it.
     Also also, there is some flip fucking going on, i dunno if that
     warrants a warning, but if you dont want to see Erwin bottom than you
     can easily skip that part as it is short.
See the end of the work for more notes
After Erwin blew Bertholdt in his car at the parking lot of the park, Bertholdt
wasn’t sure if he should go back. A week passed and Bertholdt was debating on
if he should go or not to continue his usual work out routine. Since nothing
like this had ever happened to him before he wasn’t sure what the proper
etiquette would be. Should he go and act like nothing happened? Should he go
and express his feelings about it? Should he not go at all? Would Erwin even be
there? Did Erwin want to even see him again?
He had been thinking about it all week, and whether Erwin wanted to see him or
not he decided he would go, because he wanted to see him. If Erwin was there
than good, if not than it was no big deal either.
Bertholdt knew it was a bad idea to see him again, but he wanted to. He had to.
He knew what they did was bad, but because he couldn’t stop thinking about it
he just had to go back and see him again, just to test something.
Bertholdt had never really considered the thought that he was gay. He had a
feeling that he wasn’t necessarily normal, but being gay had never really
crossed his mind. He had gotten teased about it before, just other kids in
middle school calling him ‘gay’ or whatever, but it was always just a name and
nothing more. He never felt like it was a personal attack on who he was. But
now he wasn’t so sure.
He just didn’t have a lot of friends, and that was normal for Bertholdt, so he
didn’t think it was weird to not be attracted to any of the girls in his class.
None of them were his friend so why would he be attracted to them? That’s how
it worked right? But he wasn’t a friend with Erwin either. They had only talked
occasionally at the park, and he didn’t even know his last name, how old he
was, or anything else about him other than that he was older, and he was hot.
Bertholdt was attracted to Erwin. For the first time he felt a sudden rush of,
‘wow, this person is amazing and I want them,’ towards any human being, and he
wasn’t even sure what it meant.
When Erwin blew him it had raised a whole bunch of new questions. Bertholdt
didn’t stop him, despite his usual hatred for close contact with strangers.
There was that feeling of ‘want’ again that he still didn’t really understand.
And then, he was forced to address the issue of whether or not he was gay.
The whole week he had thought about Erwin. Erwin, who always wore a loose
fitting tank, with large holes for the arms so his sides and torso were
visible, his muscles flexing and straining as he worked out, shimmering in the
sun with sweat. Then, there were the tight runner shorts, they went down to his
knees, but they were so tight it didn’t leave much to the imagination.
Bertholdt didn’t know a man’s ass could look that good, and the first time he
saw him he had to remind himself not to stare. On top of it all, he was just
good looking. He had light blonde hair and bright blue eyes, high check bones,
and full lips.
And then there was the image of those full lips wrapped around his cock that
Bertholdt couldn’t get out of his mind. He kept thinking about it. The feeling
of being kissed, his first kiss, so suddenly and so forcefully, like Erwin had
just been waiting for the opportunity. That thought alone made him feel hot,
but then he remembered those lips traveling hurriedly down his torso, his
tongue poking out and licking at his stomach, and then onto his cock. Bertholdt
hadn’t lasted very long, and he had mumbled out a startled apology when he
came, but Erwin had just smiled at him, licking the cum from his lips, like it
was nothing.
The moment was burned into his memory, and he had probably masturbated more in
that week alone than he had in his whole life. He just kept thinking about
Erwin, and how nice he had felt touching his skin, feeling like he was
everywhere at once, his hands and tongue feeling him in ways he didn’t know
were possible. Never had he ever imagined anyone could want him so much. It
felt so strange to think about it.
He had to see him again. He had to know for sure. He had to feel him again. Had
to feel wanted, like he was somebody, and not a lonely teenager with no
friends, no siblings, and no father.
 
When he got to the park he was grateful that Erwin was there, stretching, like
usual, but he also was incredibly nervous, because he didn’t know what to say
or even how to approach him.
Erwin just smiled at him when he saw him, and luckily he had started the
conversation without Bertholdt needing too. Bertholdt felt beyond awkward, but
Erwin had acted casual, and they ran the track like they usually did. Bertholdt
thought that maybe it was a one-time thing, until when they were finished Erwin
asked him to come back to his place to ‘relax.’
Bertholdt hesitated, but he knew he wanted it, so he couldn’t help it when he
said ‘yes,’ and hopped into his car. Part of him thought that other than the
age difference this situation could still be bad. Erwin could be dangerous and
Bertholdt could have no idea. He thought about it, but he decided he really
didn’t care.
Erwin waited this time, choosing not to attack him until they got to his
apartment, which was a nice one-bedroom suite in a large building, on the 8th
floor, with a balcony. Once they were inside Erwin didn’t waste anytime making
his move. He pushed him against the door and began kissing him with just as
much passion as the time in the car before. Bertholdt tried to keep up, but it
was hard for his inexperienced lips, so he just let Erwin do whatever he wanted
for the time being.
He yelped when a hand slipped between his legs, palming his already hard
member.
“Bertholdt,” Erwin said over his lips, and then moved down to his neck, while
still palming his erection. “Are you a virgin?”
Bertholdt made a tiny whimpering noise in his throat, feeling embarrassed.
“It’s ok,” Erwin reassured him. “I don’t mind taking care of that for you, if
you don’t mind of course.”
Bertholdt thought about it for a moment, of course it was hard to think
probably with Erwin’s hand on his dick, but he did try. He thought about how
Erwin didn’t know he was only 15, and he thought about how this wasn’t really
how he had planned on loosing his virginity. He hadn’t thought about that a
lot, but he always assumed it would be like in the movies, that he’d be with a
girl for a while and then they would eventually do it. But he realized he
wasn’t like most people, and that his life wasn’t like a movie, and that he
wasn’t that lucky. Bertholdt was alone so much of the time that he had gotten
used to it, and with Erwin in front of him he felt like he might as well take
the chance. Maybe this would help. Maybe physically loving someone would help
him deal with the loneliness that had consumed his young life.
Bertholdt just nodded, stuttering out, “O-ok.”
Erwin smiled at him, and pulled away, grabbing him by his wrist, and leading
him into his bedroom.
Erwin guided him onto the bed. Bertholdt complied, gently rested his back
against the covers, and his legs hung off the end. Erwin stood in front of him,
and slowly began to undress himself.
Bertholdt felt his throat go dry. He gripped the cover of the bed, trying to
will his hands to stop shaking. He was so nervous, and didn’t know what was
going to happen next. All he could do was focus on the man undressing in front
of him, his cock painfully hard already and twitching in his shorts.
Erwin undressed completely and stood naked in front of Bertholdt. Bertholdt
couldn’t help but stare, and he slowly raked his eyes down Erwin’s body, taking
him all in.
He heard Erwin chuckle, making him look back up to his face, and sees the
satisfied smirk resting there. Bertholdt didn’t know if he should say anything
or not, but he didn’t think he could anyway, so he said nothing.
Erwin swooped down, rested a knee in between Bertholdt’s thighs, and began
kissing him. He ghosted his fingers up Bertholdt’s sides, slowly started to
bring his t-shirt up, and slipped his hands under. Bertholdt kept his hands to
his side, with the cover still gripped tightly in his fists. He wasn’t sure if
he should touch Erwin back, but he was too afraid to try anyway.
Erwin pressed his body closer, kept his lips attached to his, and Bertholdt
felt his bare chest pressed against the part of his that was no longer hid
behind his shirt. Feeling the skin on skin contact lit him up with fire, and he
suddenly felt incredibly hot. Without thinking he moaned into the kiss, and
Erwin chuckled again.
He sat up, moving his legs so he was straddling Bertholdt’s lap. Bertholdt took
a sharp intake of breath at the feel of Erwin’s ass on his clothed erection,
and his head fell back as he closed his eyes. The weight on top of him felt
strange. Even though Erwin and Bertholdt were the same height Erwin was
bulkier, heavier with thick muscle, while Bertholdt was leaner. Having the
larger man on top of him felt daunting, like Erwin had all control of him, had
him trapped, and could do anything he wanted to him. Bertholdt felt his cock
twitch in his shorts at the thought and the realization that he didn’t mind
having Erwin pinning him down, making him feel smaller than he really was.
Erwin wasn’t fully hard yet, but he rocked his backside into Bertholdt, and
smirked at the reaction it got out of him. He glided his hands back up
Bertholdt torso, grabbed his shirt, and then enticed Bertholdt to lift his arms
so he could remove it completely.
He continued to touch his chest and stomach, and Bertholdt let out little pants
and gasps at all the sensations, his big, rough hands moving over his hyper
sensitive skin with surprising delicacy, and yet being forceful enough when
they needed to be.
“Good, Bertholdt?” Erwin asked, and Bertholdt simply nodded, eyes still closed.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at him, feeling too embarrassed and
overwhelmed. The only contact on his cock was the occasional roll of Erwin’s
hips, but he still felt if he opened his eyes to see the man above him he’d cum
right there on the spot.
Bertholdt whimpered as Erwin graced his thumbs over his nipples in slow, rough
circles. Then, he glided his hands down Bertholdt’s arms, grabbed him at his
wrists, and lifted them up and placed his hands on his own chest, egging him on
to touch him back.
Bertholdt complied with shaky hands. He tried to mimic what Erwin did to him,
and slowly brought his hands downwards, briefly brushed them over his nipples,
and then trailed them downwards over the muscles on his stomach. He tried to
swallow the dryness in his throat as he went, and watched the older man’s
muscles twitch under his touch, watched his hips move as they grinded against
his own crotch, and shyly eyed the naked cock that hung in front of him.
“It’s ok,” Erwin encouraged him, his voice deep and husky. “Go ahead.”
Bertholdt looked up at him briefly before he continued. Slowly he reached for
his cock, keeping one hand on his hip to feel the motion of his movements, and
grabbed the base.
Erwin let out a sigh of content, and Bertholdt got some more confidence as he
felt it get harder in his hand. It felt different than his own cock, it was
bigger, thicker, and from the angle he was at Bertholdt had to adjust to get
used to the motion as he stroked it. He did so slowly, feeling unsure, and was
still too afraid to even look up at Erwin, scared of his reaction.
Erwin grabbed his chin, forcing Bertholdt’s head to tilt upward. “Look at me.”
Bertholdt listened and whimpered helplessly, the look in Erwin’s eyes making
him feel weak as he stared down at him, challenging him. He gripped him
tighter, matching the intensity of the heavy grip on his jaw, and pumped him
with more assurance. Erwin grunted, his eyes still tightly locked onto
Bertholdt’s, and he breathed out, “That’s good, good, Bertholdt…”
Bertholdt felt encouraged, especially at hearing his name in such a sultry way,
and worked him faster, falling into a good rhythm that felt right. Erwin didn’t
let him continue for long though, and he grinded himself onto Bertholdt’s
crotch one last time before lifting himself up slightly, then sitting back on
Bertholdt’s thighs.
Bertholdt removed his hand from him due to the slight position change leaving
him out of reach, and watched silently as Erwin slid down his running shorts.
His cock was hard, and snagged on the waistband, and he let out a low groan as
Erwin slid them down slowly, letting the material rub his cock until it sprung
free.
Then, Erwin took a hold of his cock, making Bertholdt shutter. Bertholdt was
already painfully hard and leaking precum, the friction Erwin was giving him
earlier and just the situation in general already making Bertholdt close to the
edge. The sudden skin on skin contact to his cock was overwhelming, and his
hips jerked upwards with less control than Bertholdt would have liked.
“Bertholdt,” Erwin said, stilling his movements, holding him tight at the base
of his cock. “Do you know anything about this?”
Even when Erwin wasn’t moving Bertholdt still felt like he could burst at any
moment, making it hard for him to answer. He just looked down at him as the
older man straddled his thighs, holding his cock with a large steady hand.
After a moment Bertholdt whimpered, “No, I, ah, I don’t –”
“Don’t worry,” Erwin cut him off, a sly, but assuring, smile on his face. “I
will show you.”
Then, Erwin lifted himself off of Bertholdt, and Bertholdt watched him in awe
as he walked over to his nightstand, taking in the image of his muscles moving
as he walked and his hard cock jutting out in between his legs. Bertholdt felt
his mouth go dry once more at the sight, a dreamlike feeling washing over him.
 Erwin looked through his drawer, quickly pulling out a tiny bottle and two
condoms, and made his way back over to the bed. He smirked down at Bertholdt
when he noticed him staring, and Bertholdt looked away embarrassed.
Before getting back on the bed, Erwin guided Bertholdt so he was on the bed
more, laying on it fully on his back, his head close to the headboard. Then,
Erwin straddled him at his knees.
“Pay attention,” he said, uncapping the bottle and pouring a generous amount on
his fingers. Bertholdt listened; of course he listened, because there was
nothing in the world at this moment that could keep him from looking away from
the man in front of him. Erwin leaned forward slightly and Bertholdt watched
attentively as he brought a hand back behind him. Erwin’s mouth dropped open in
a silent gasp as he slipped a finger in side of himself, and Bertholdt couldn’t
help but gasp as well, just from the sight.
From the angle he was at Bertholdt could see enough that he could see Erwin’s
fingers disappearing into him, but he couldn’t see his hole itself. Erwin
stared at him as he pushed two fingers into himself, and Bertholdt watched in
awe as he began to pump them in and out.
After a few moments Erwin removed his hand, then reached out and grabbed one of
Bertholdt’s wrists, which was hanging limply by his side.
“Here,” Erwin said, guiding his hand between Erwin’s legs, past his cock, and
to the space Erwin had just been touching himself. “Try for yourself.”
Bertholdt gulped, feeling the slick hole presented to him. Erwin kept a hold on
his wrist as he carefully prodded at his hole, feeling the wetness there and
getting it on his fingers. Erwin gripped his wrist tighter, jerking it upwards,
telling him to continue. “Come on, Bertholdt.”
Erwin’s voice was soothing, calm, but demanding at the same time. Bertholdt
complied instantly, shakily inserting two fingers inside. Once again he felt
his jaw drop in a silent gasp, amazed at the feeling of the tight heat that
engulfed his fingers. Erwin began moving his hand by the grip on his wrist,
forcing him to thrust his fingers in and out of him. Bertholdt could feel him
clenching around his fingers, and he couldn’t even imagine what it would be
like to have his cock inside him. He whimpered at the thought.
Then, Erwin removed his hand, and in one quick motion he was moving up
Bertholdt’s body, his grip on his wrist still firm and pulling his arm above
his head. He was straddling his waist now, and he took a moment to grab
Bertholdt’s other arm, bringing it up with the other and holding them together
at the wrists with one of his large hands. With his free hand he grabbed one of
the condoms, opening the packet by carefully tearing it in his teeth, tossed
the wrapper aside, and rolled the condom onto Bertholdt cock. Bertholdt moaned
from the touch. Then, he grabbed the bottle of lube again and poured some onto
Bertholdt. Bertholdt gasped at the feeling of the warm liquid on him, and tried
to jerk away just by reflex, but the hand holding his wrists together keep him
in place.
Erwin gave him a quick couple of strokes, fully coating his cock, before
lifting himself up even more and lining himself up. Bertholdt was already
breathing heavily, suddenly becoming aware of what is about to happen, and
feeling incredibly nervous, but excited.
“I’m going to fuck myself on your cock,” Erwin said, and gripped his wrists
tighter. “Stay still and pay attention.”
Bertholdt couldn’t hold back his whimper, and let his eyes slide closed when
Erwin began to sink himself on his cock.
“Keep your eyes opened,” he said, and Bertholdt instantly snapped his eyes
opened again.
He moaned at the sight of Erwin lowering himself onto his cock, and the feeling
was so overwhelming he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He
resisted the urge to thrust up into him, remembering Erwin’s words to stay
still. His hips shook with strain.
“Good boy, Bertholdt,” Erwin hummed, his free hand holding onto Bertholdt’s
hip. “Stay still and let me ride you…”
Erwin didn’t get to ride him for long. He barely got to raise and drop his hips
three times before Bertholdt was letting out a startled gasp, shifting into a
loud moan before fading out into a whimper, and came inside him.
“Ah! S-Sorry! I-I’m sorry!” Bertholdt whined out pathetically, feeling beyond
embarrassed at how fast he came. He shifted his head to the side, trying and
failing at hiding his face from Erwin. If Erwin weren’t holding onto his wrists
he’d be hiding his face in his hands.
“Sh, Bertholdt,” Erwin said on top of him, easing himself off his cock, his
still hard cock bobbing as he moved. “You did good.”
Bertholdt was still breathing heavily, but felt better at hearing Erwin’s
calming voice. He thought Erwin would be mad at him.
Erwin let go of his wrists, but gave him a pointed look. “Keep your arms up.”
Bertholdt listened, and watched as Erwin removed the condom from his cock,
tying it and tossing it to the side with the wrapper.
“The good part about you being so young,” Erwin said, and Bertholdt gulped
nervously, thinking how Erwin truly had no idea. “Is that you can keep going.”
“Wha –” Bertholdt didn’t have a chance to finish questioning him before Erwin
had the bottle of lube in his hand again, and he opened it and poured some
directly onto Bertholdt’s skin, just under his balls. Bertholdt felt it drip
down over his hole and he hissed at the feeling, biting his lip.
“Just relax,” Erwin told him as he brought a hand in between his legs. He used
a thumb to collect the lube that had dripped there and then dragged it in slow
circles over his hole. Bertholdt winced, feeling a little unsure, but trying to
relax like he said.
Erwin continued to slowly massage his entrance, and Bertholdt felt himself
relax into the touch. He was exhausted from cumming, so it wasn’t hard for his
body to loosen up. Erwin leaned over him, once again grabbing his wrists, and
then pushed a finger in. Bertholdt inhaled sharply. It felt bizarre, but it
didn’t hurt. It was mostly just uncomfortable, and he scrunched his face up at
the feeling.
With a lot of care, Erwin began to pump his finger in and out of him, willing
his body to get used to the feeling. Bertholdt took heavy breaths as he
attempted to adjust. Once he felt like he had adjusted Erwin was removing his
hand. He lowered himself, shifting his weight, and began to kiss along the side
of Bertholdt’s neck before pushing two fingers in. Bertholdt let out a harsh
gasp, the two fingers feeling surprisingly much thicker than just one. The lips
on his neck provided him with a decent distraction, and on top of that Erwin
started mumbling over his skin.
“Sh, that’s good, Bertholdt. Just stay relaxed. Let me.”
Bertholdt moaned under him, steadily becoming more used to the strange
sensation. Erwin was twisting his fingers inside him, crossing them, and
curving them, and then he arched them in a way that had Bertholdt sputtering in
shock.
“Oh – ah!” Bertholdt gasped, jerking his hips without realizing it and pushing
Erwin’s fingers deeper into him.
“Feels good, Bertholdt?” Erwin asked, and Bertholdt could practically feel the
smirk on his lips. He couldn’t respond, still in too much of a shock as Erwin
continued to massage that spot. “Tell me, Bertholdt, does it feel good?”
Bertholdt bit his lip and whimpered. The way Erwin kept saying his name was
driving him insane in itself, that plus everything else was almost too much. He
had a tight grip on his wrists, keeping him in place, his breath was ghosting
over his neck and ear, and he kept hitting that spot inside him that he didn’t
even know existed. He had to focus hard before he could speak, and he managed
to gasp out, “Y-yes!”
Erwin chuckled, and before Bertholdt even realized it his cock was twitching
back to hardness, and he could feel it against his stomach.
Bertholdt was moaning under his touch, rocking his hips into his hand, and his
eyes had falling shut, but Erwin hadn’t told him to open them this time so he
supposed it was ok.
Suddenly, Erwin’s hands were gone, and Bertholdt’s eyes snapped open in
confusion. When he opened them he saw Erwin rolling the other condom onto his
cock. Bertholdt braised himself, feeling nervous once again as he realized what
was going to happen.
Erwin settled between his legs, one hand holding his weight beside Bertholdt’s
head, and positioned his cock at his entrance. Before entering him, he leaned
down to Bertholdt’s ear, and huskily whispered, “Are you ready for me to fuck
you?”
Bertholdt didn’t know if was supposed to answer that, and he didn’t know if he
even could. He just opened and closed his mouth stupidly, breath getting faster
already, and shook in arousal and anticipation.
“Bertholdt,” Erwin said, and Bertholdt visibly shuttered at the way his name
was erotically spoken. “Tell me.”
Bertholdt gulped and willed himself to speak. “Y-yes, I’m r-ready for you to f-
fuck me.”
At that, Erwin lifted himself up again, and then Bertholdt felt the tip of his
cock at his hole.
Slowly, Erwin pushed in, and Bertholdt threw his head back and let out a loud
moan. It hurt a lot. Erwin was much larger than his two fingers, and Bertholdt
wasn’t sure if he would like this as much. Erwin continued to push into him,
going slow and stopping every few seconds, but Bertholdt realized it was more
tolerable when he was moving, so he rocked his hips, silently pleading with
Erwin to keep going.
Erwin grunted above him, and took the hint, pushing himself all the way in and
then pulling back out to thrust back in, pulling out a little further each time
he went.
Bertholdt groaned, closed his eyes shut tight, and tried to focus on the
friction. Erwin dropped his weight to his elbows, and angled his hips
differently, thrusting into him upwards. Bertholdt felt a jolt throughout his
body, and he gasped loudly in shock. He rocked his hips back to meet Erwin’s,
and since Erwin had dropped some of his weight it left their stomachs closer
together, so when he moved his hips the head of his cock brushed against
Erwin’s stomach.
“O-oh wow,” Bertholdt couldn’t help but moan.
Erwin chuckled above him. “Good, Bertholdt?”
Erwin didn’t have to ask again to get him to answer. Bertholdt answered on his
own when Erwin gave him a very pointed thrust. “Ah! Y-yes!”
“You like getting fucked?” Erwin grunted right after, his voice still managing
to sound as smooth as ever.
“Yes!” Bertholdt responded instantly, lost in the movement of their bodies and
all the sensations. It felt incredible.
“Good, Bertholdt,” Erwin got his attention again, thrusting into him faster.
“You’re such a good boy, taking my cock so well your first time...”
He felt like everything made sense now. Now he understood why people made such
a big deal about crushes and other nonsense at school. This was why. It led to
this. It led to being with someone, being so close, being touched and admired
like you mattered. It was amazing. He dully noted in the back of his mind that
while now he understood all the fuss his classmates made about crushes and sex
that, as the older man on top of him thrust into him faster and harder, he was
still different.
When he came, it was with a long loud gasp, and he got both his and Erwin’s
chests dirty. Erwin pulled out, took off the condom, and then jacked himself
off until he came all over Bertholdt’s chest and stomach as well. Afterwards,
Bertholdt felt like he couldn’t even move, like his limbs were jelly, and he
simply stayed motionless on the bed while Erwin cleaned up.
Then, Erwin drove him back home with the promise that they would do this again.
Bertholdt still felt guilty, but the feeling was much more mild now. It felt
good to be in a relationship with someone, someone who seemed like they cared,
or at least it felt like it with the way Erwin looked at him.
He got home expecting to feel different, like now he could get his life on
track, now he could be normal, now he didn’t have to be lonely. But when he
walked into his empty house, his mom still at work and his dad long gone, he
felt no change.
End Notes
     thank you for reading and i hoped you liked it
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
